Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Things That Should Not Be Allowed

Bumbags and Kitten Heels are, if you believe everything you read, making a comeback this spring.
Can you think of anything more repulsive than wearing something called a bumbag? And kittens are for playing with and feeding and expensive trips to the hopefully handsome but usually dissapointingly female vet. They are not for shoes.
I have never really understood the appeal of kitten heels. They can hurt your feet just as much, if not more, than a stacked heel (although admittedly a spindly stilleto is always going to hurt more than a stumpy kitten. But you do have to be a bit of a sadist to do that to yourself in the first place and for that I admire your commitment).
Kitten heels have always, ALWAYS, made everyone look like they're on a school run. You just need a gillet and some boot cut jeans to finish the look. Even a 12 year old can pull off a convincing imitation of a middle class mum in kitten heels.
Also, they are rarely flatering, defeating the whole point of wearing a heel in the first place. They certainly do not make you feel tall, confident and cool.
I do own a single pair of shoes with heels that verge on being kitten-ish that have been lurking in my cupboard unworn for some time. I wore them on Monday. Don't ask why. They offer all the discomfort of heels with none of the benefits.
If you see me wearing Kitten heels one day, please do tap me on the shoulder and remind me of this post. I will be smiling on the outside, but inside I will be crying.

In other news - The inevitable 'We love the 90's' phase has hit fashion. But thus far the cool kids only seem to want to revisit the bad bits of the 90s. I'm all for the return of the slip dress but there is something very wrong going on when the teenagers hanging around outside Topshop begin to look like extras from Blossom; braces, a big floppy satin bow in the hair, pale washed denim and high-tops with ankle socks. Creepy.

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