Agent Provocateur's Film Noir inspired jewelry

I get regular, so regular they're getting a trifle annoying, email updates from Agent Provocateur whenever they release something new. I used to adore Agent Provocateur and I can't actually put my finger on why I have gone off them. There was just something that seemed wrong about the direction they were moving in over the past few years. It was almost like they were trying to shed their 40' does 50's does 60's burlesque skin and come out as some neon-clad (albeit scantily) Crazy Horse dancer from the 80s.
But now they appear to have moved away from that - the new ranges are happily far less Dynasty and far more Betty Page - and are trying to spread their wings and do something a bit more than underwear.
Agent Provocateur fans will, no doubt, want to stop me and huskily point out that AP has long done more than just outrageously desirable and expensive underwear that can't actually be worn outside of the bedroom (unless you are quite adventurous).
They started doing shoes quite a few years ago. But that made sense because knickers, suspenders, stockings and heels is definitely a good look. They also did some nightwear of the satin dressing gown variety and very tight and tiny t-shirts that could conceivably have been worn in daily life if you were desperate for the kind of attention that most expensive underwear lovers aren't really interested in. If you're wearing Agent Provocateur underwear, you probably don't need to advertise quite so loudly with your outerwear. Because really great sex underwear, as opposed to really great functional underwear, usually makes you exude an air of sexual confidence even if you are literally wearing a hemp sack or have the sex drive of a slug. I know this from experience. The swimwear also made sense - slightly less revealing styles of underwear suitable for playing in the water like a latter day Brigitte Bardot or going the Mrs Robinson route and seducing pool boys with a very strong cocktail in hand.
And there was always jewelery of a sort. The sort that included studs and spikes, nipple clamps, jewel encrusted riding crops and nipple tassles. Because, let's be honest here, you are not going to AP to look for anything subtle that could give your boring old LBD a new lease of life with a bit of tasteful sparkle, now, are you?
And yet, may I introduce you to AP's new 'film noir' inspired jewelery range. Still quite naughty - the designs appear to be going for a hareem girl chic although I have no idea what that's got to do with film noir - these are actually also quite wearable outside of the bedroom even if you don't have enough confidence to wear what is, essentially, boob reins disguised as a necklace.

Hareem Body Necklace - £260

Hareem whip ring - £125

Hareem earrings - £100

 In fact I think the whole 'film noir' thing is nonsense. This is all more Liz Taylor as Cleopatra or Salome or something late 50s, epic and possibly a bit sexed-up biblical isn't it. They even have schackle inspired necklaces and bracelets. Actually these might be a really good way of getting nice jewelery and something to use to tastefully re-enact that infamous Princess Leia as a slave girl thing in one go.

However, at the more wearable end of the range, I particularly like the triumvurate of latin inscribed rings and bracelets. In gold, brown and black, each colour has a corresponding insrciption. I like the brown one, even if it is very cheesy - "Love conquers all things: let us surrender to love." Black is "Make me chaste and pure, but not yet!" and gold is "Kiss me with a thousand kisses". They're also fairly reasonably priced - £50 for a ring and £80 for a bracelet.

Latin Tri Ring - £50

Latin Tri Bracelet - £80

View the full range at the Agent Provocateur website.